Mindfulness: What Does It Mean To Feel Good

Dear Friends,

I received this newsletter from a colleague and felt the need to share.  Her words are to the point, perfect.  Self care, self love, self acceptance does not mean being selfish.  It means acceptance of yourself at all levels, which allows you to be more genuine with others in your life. I hope you find this fulfilling.

What Does It Mean To Feel Good?
 
by Dr. Kate Siner
 
We hear the words “feel good” all the time. We even say them to ourselves. “ I just want to feel good” “I just want to feel better.” Or, maybe we say, “I just want to be happy.” One way or another we are saying the same thing. But, what is this “better” that we are reaching for? 

Overtime, I have come to realize that self-love is the key to “feeling good.” Self-love is based in self-acceptance and results in self-care. If you want to feel good, you must first be willing to accept every part of yourself, then love yourself including the parts that you do not like so much.  As a result you learn to care deeply for your self on every level. 

Self-Acceptance: Self-acceptance means being able to be on your own side regardless of where you find yourself emotionally, mentally, or even physically. For example, if you find yourself criticizing yourself, being negative about your progress, or saying the way that you are doing things is wrong, you are not on your own side. 

Self-Love: Self-love means that you are willing to maintain a loving state of being towards yourself at all times. For example, even if you do not like the way that you are acting or you did not get the results that you want you still know that you have value and are worthy of deep unconditional love. 

Self Care: Self-care is your ability to put self-love and self-acceptance into practice. Self-care is any and every act that affirms and honors the completeness of who you are. It is not about doing something that is supposed to be healthy as much as it is caring for yourself in the most basic and intrinsic ways. 

These three key ingredients create a level of health, fulfillment and ultimately success that is exceptional. They are dependent on each other and moving forward in one area propels you forward in another. 

Here are some steps you can take to create more of these primary components of fulfillment in your life. 

1.    Find the benefits of supposedly problematic parts of yourself. Every part of us has a purpose and value. Sometimes, we might wish that we did not get angry or feel hurt in a certain situation but if we learn to listen to why we are upset or acting the way that we are, we can start to see how that part has been beneficial even if we are ready to let it go moving forward.? 

2.    Practice loving others even if you do not like their behavior or beliefs. Loving someone does not mean tolerating bad behavior or having no boundaries. Loving someone includes boundaries and even getting upset when someone has wronged you. You do not need to let go of love if someone’s behavior conflicts with your beliefs about what is right and what is wrong. ? 

3.    Love yourself like you love others. There are some people like your children or your partner that you love despite their flaws. Pay attention to how and why you are able to do that and then apply those principles to yourself. ?
 
4.    Do what feels really good.  You might say, “If I always did what felt good, I would be fat, get nothing done, or some other association with indulgence. However, indulgence and feeling good are not always the same thing! Pay attention to how you to feel to learn what really makes your feel good and do more of it.
Take a moment to let the words settle in.  Make a choice on how you would like to pay attention to create some time to focus on the various aspects of your life.
Happy Spring!  Be Well,
                                             Mary
If you would like to take the next step in creating a balanced lifestyle, contact me for a complimentary session to discuss your goals.
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